----------------------- THE LEVEL 8 STORY BOARD Feb 18 - Mar 18, 1986 compiled jun 1992 by Lazlo Nibble ----------------------- Numb: 1 Subj: Here's The board... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Tue Feb 18 1986 Ok folks, here's the Story Board. I don't want to start it, so someone else should. How about it? Anyone got any ideas? I've got some, but who knows, I might put them in somewhere a long the line.... TF Numb: 2 Subj: Black Nights/White Lights From: COUNT NIBBLE Date: Tue Feb 18 1986 A beginning . . . Marty looked up from his newspaper. His computer had apparently, after an hour and a half of autodialing, gotten through to Terrapin, and was now in the process of macro-logging itself on. He wandered over and sat down. Where to look first? A hard decision for most, but for Marty it was easy. He aborted the welcome message and immediately tried to read a file: RAG THIS ASSHOLE! It was still up, after all this time. "What does he have against me?" thought the hypocrite as he aborted the file and moved off to the other drives. "This is it . . . I'm calling in the phone cops." Meanwhile, at the Guild hall, Nibble walked into the main ballroom, where the United Albuquerque Underground was holding a mighty bodacious first- anniversary party. Everyone in town was there . . . the UM even tried to crash the party but he ended up tied up on the west mesa, dressed like a chicken. "CAN I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, PLEASE??" Nibble shouted over the live band in the corner. "Would the Upper-Eschelon people meet me in the screening room in five minutes? Thanks and enjoy the party!" "What's all this about, Nibs?" asked Rip as he entered the room, three minutes late, his arm around Ginny's waist. "Sit down, Rip", replied Nibble. "It's Marty. I think it's time to act . . ." Numb: 3 Subj: And now it's my turn.... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Tue Feb 18 1986 "Act, act! My ass! Blow the fucker up!"- TF shouted from across the room, making motions of pulling granade pins. J-Edgar Hoover, who was sitting beside looked at him with a funny look and said, "How many times have I told you? We must not resort to violence right away...." "Right, that comes later.", Nibble said, looking at them rather strangly. "Why not just have him knocked off, it'd be easier...", Yoda said in a joking mannor. "Oh yeah, well, I figured out that you can always switch to Slot 2 drive 4, and hang AE for a while... at least it workes on mine. I guess it'd work on Marty's board.. Worth a try", TF said. "Hey, why don't we bag this for now, go get a bight to eat, and come back. I still wanna sing my song for you guys, I'm proud of it. Better then Gene, almost anyway." "Yeah, maybe we could use something to eat. I don't suppose anyone has MONEY?", Nibble asked. "Um. Well... just a sec...", as they all checked pockets, and purses. "Hmmm. I got mom's Amigo card", Whip said. "Great.. we eat.", The Dare said, as he began to pile over the chairs, out into the main room. "C'mon, I'm starved.." The all followed, out the doors, around the corner, off to Taco Bell.... but who could be out there? .... Numb: 4 Subj: Etc... From: YODA Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 They all took off. TF, Nikki, and Yoda in a purple VW bug. Dare, Nib, and Whip in a Toyota MR-2/. Needless to say, it wasn't quite a fair race. They all pulled up to Taco Bell. Luckily, it was Taco Sunday for some. "Gimme 12 tacos, and a coke" Yoda said. "Burrito Supreme" TF folowed. They all ordered and shit. After slammin' down all the food, Nikki said, "I hear there's some cool shit to do in the mountains this time of the year. At least that's what Yoda and TF keep telling me. What do you guys say?" "C'mon Nikki, you know it's late, not to mention dark as hell. What could be up there at this time?" Yoda said. "You're the one who wants to keep going up there. Let's go, I've been waiting for about 10 months. I'm sure all of us can find something to do." Everyone voted, and they took off. They started walking up a open trail, and arrived in an open clearing. All of a sudden..... Numb: 5 Subj: Snugglebunnies From: SYNTH Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 They all stopped short. Through the darkness they could see two figures playfully wrestling in the leaves. Yoda's eyes widened, and he whispered carefully to Nikki and TF, "Those two guys ... they look like --" Nikki finished his sentence: "-- like Adam Hudson and Dave Staehlin!" Freebird almost burst out laughing. Nikki, ready to crack up, said,"C'mon, guys, we better get outta here..." The trio slowly backed away from the intimate session. As they took off, they could faintly hear Adam's groaning and panting. "Oh, Dave ... oh, DAVE --" The three piled into the bug, dying from laughter overdose. "Oh God, what a trip," Yoda exclaimed. "Bitchin, man." "This is going to be up on every fucking board in the COUNTRY!" TF vowed, wiping tears from his eyes. Nikki gunned the engine and peeled out, taking them back to the Guild party... Numb: 6 Subj: Meanwhile.. From: MR. COFFEE Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 Mr. Coffee was drinking his favorite gourmet coffee while doing the usual; gettin' on to Badstreet and thinkin' of somethin' to post. Nothing was seen anywhere except a message 'bout some new AE going up in Texas. Suddenly, it hit; yes sir the flash of the century and an opportunity not to pass up! MARTY LEVEN FUCKS ADAM HUDSEN AND DAVE STEAHLIN!! Finally, something worthwhile to post on Applequerque! Ah, but Mr. C didn't have time to post on Badstreet that evenin', he had to spread the word to every fuckin' public board in the city and let everyone else take their turn at spreading this most phonominal event! Since the boards would be so busy that even Marty's auto dial couldn't get through, Mr. Coffee decided to take the liberty of shopping for that new ultrasonic, microwave, auto serving coffee machine that so many people have been raving about at K-Mart (he had to replace the coffee maker that he bought last week). Numb: 7 Subj: A few minutes later.... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 A while later, as Nikki, Yoda and Freebird got back to the party, Synth was sitting close to the front door, next to some incredibly gorgeous girl he'd found at Taco Bell. "What took you so long to get back?" He asked. "Well, we kind of detoured off to the mountains, and low and behold...", Yoda said. "Low and behold we almost saw the making of a Gay Porn movie...", Freebird interupted. "Rather interesting I must say, I never saw Nikki turn SO red in all my life." "That was only because it caught be off gaurd.". Nikki informed him. "It was pretty funny though...'Oh Dave'" "What?!" "Should have been there Synth. Adam and Dave were going at it.. pretty heavy! The Fag Twins.", Yoda told Synth. "They're not twins", Nikki told them. The all laughed, Synth quickly excused himself, stopped laughing, and went to tell the others.... Freebird left the area, and went to into a small room, to bring out his bass. "What's that for?" Nikki asked. Numb: 8 Subj: Move Bullshit for the Fire! From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 "OH no! Please don't sing!", Yoda told him. Freebird looked around, and exchanged a look with Nikki who was now positioning herself behind the drum set. "Want me to play lead?" Yoda asked. "Yeah, find someone to play rhythm too.", TF asked him. Yoda disapeared and came back a few minutes later with Synth, who volunteered (Unknowingly) to play. As the guys jumped onto the stage, Nikki messed around with the set. The partiers saw them get on stage, and gathered closer to the stage. The lights in the room dimmed, dry ice covered the floor, and the group attemted to play "I love it Loud", after that, the did "Heaven's on fire", then Yoda gave everyone a thrill by singing Tears are falling. After that Synth and Freebird did a duo called Shout it out loud. After the finished, people cheered, (Maybe because they thought they were done!) and then the ever hated Domino walked in. He didn't get too far, but stood in the door way. Freebird grabbed a mic and started talking to him. "Hey Boy! You got a problem? You stay here just one minute, and then get the FUCK out!", Nikki started playing the openning to "War Machine" which was quite clearly directed to Domino. Domino heard this, and started to leave, and did. (With the help of Nibble's cocked fist.) The group finished playing, and put their instruments away. "Let's do something interesting.... ", TF said. "Like, well, I dunno. How about TP APD's office. Maybe steal a cop car. Aughhhh! Drive in! Movies! Let's Cruise Central. I dunno, let's do something!" Numb: 9 Subj: Let's get Domino From: YODA Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 Suddenly, Domino crawled back into the room. "I thought I told you to get the fuck out of here!", TF said. Domino threw everyone the bird, and took off. "I'm gonna kill that..." And TF and Yoda started after him. Synth grabbed TF, and Nikki managed to stop Yoda. "Wait a minute guys." Nibble said. "We know who the shithead is, and where he lives. We can cruise over to his house and do just about anything we please. We don't need to go on some stupid car chase, especially if we take Nikki's purple bug!" "True," TF replied, "let's go over and raise some hell!" "Yeah, but first we'll need a plan" "Anyone got any ideas?", Yoda asked..... Numb: 10 Subj: Enter plot! From: WHIPSNAP RAP Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 "Click!" the phone went dead. Whip looked up at the flicering lights, "What the fu.." he was cut off as huge thungering explosions rocked the room, tearing the sliding glass door next to him into a grotesque idol. Whip dove back landing on his sofa and rolled over to the back. His head popped up and his hands grasped a heavy .44 magnum, poisied out the door. The lights died, in flickering agony, leaving the room dark. "Oh shit.." Whip mumbled roughly as he hit the deck. The room exploded again, the walls burst into shreads of plaster, flinging bits of wood chaoticly. The shooting died, and sudenly the one light bulb surviving the attack flickered on, casting a dangling grey across the room. Whip unburried himself, and stood up with his gun again. He pered out the door slowly, aimed his gun into the dark and squited. Nothing... He walked back over to the phone, clicked it, and dialed furoiusly. "Muther fucking shit! Someone just tried to decorate my house with me! Fuck, I have no idea wh.. wait, Lemme check something, hey, I'll call you back.." Whip slamed down the phone and opended a drawer under the phone, grabed a black book, and fliped through the pages. He dialed the number... "Yeh.. hey Roman, have you ever heard of a cat named 'Marty Lavens' in with the clan? Really, uuhhh hu! Naw', no problem Roman, I know, fuck it, ok? later.." Numb: 11 Subj: Continued... From: WHIPSNAP RAP Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 Whip looked across the room again, frowned hevily, and picked up the phone. He cursed heavily as he dialed the number. "Yeh, fuck, I know what happened. Its Marty, you're not gonna beleive this, huh? Oh, fuck that, look, you're not gonna believe this, Marty Lavens is in the MOB!! Yeh, I said the MOB! I checked my contact, and he's in with some guy named Cutshit, or Cutram, or somethin', huh? Naw', this is a war though, I mean, he ripped my house to shit, and almost took me with it!! Look, I'll get the guns, Nibble can get the transport, and everone else, can go underground!" Whip listened to the voice on the other end, bade his "Later" and hung up. Whip walked around the coridor, and opened his basement door, trotted down the steps and clacked on a light. He reached up and pushed on a panel, the panel slid to the side and a box slowly came down by a pully system. The box was covered in black leather, with a strange laughing scull on the front. He lifted the laches and fliped off the cover. The black metal gleemed in the shifting light. "Hehe" Whip smirked as he lifted a Colt Commando from the box. He pulled back the slide and aimed it at the wall. "Oh no, help me help me!" Marty's voice came from Whip's mimicing mouth, "du-du-du-du-du-du-du!! Ahhhh!!!" Whip laughed, enjoying his little psycho-trip still aiming at the wall. Whip stoped, droped the assault rifle into the box and closed it. He lifted it to his shoulders and walked up. "Marty, you're dead......." Numb: 12 Subj: Domino From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 The group started out to the parking lot and into there cars, off to get Whip and have some fun at Domino's expense. Once out the doors, Nikki became rather quiet, and started off to her car, seperating from the rest of the guys. Yoda, being the eagle eye that he is, saw her, and walked over to her car. "What's the matter?", he asked. "Nothing, I'm just getting tired, I'm gonna go home.", she told him. "Need to talk?", Yoda asked? "What I NEED is a valume. But, I could use the talk.", she said. "Need a ride home?" "Yeah, umm. Lemme get my coat from Nibble's truck.. I'll be right back.", he said, walking over to Nibble, Synth, and TF. Synth saw Yoda comming and grabbed his coat from the truck. "Ah, is there a problem with her or what?", TF said. "And are you comming or not?" "I don't know, I think she's just tired. I'm gonna find out though. And that means I'm not comming..." "Ok. Whatever. See you guys around. Let's get Whip", Synth said.... Numb: 13 Subj: Another one... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 "Un-Fucking believable!", TF said to himself, just loud enough for the others to hear... "What is?", Nibble asked. "I dunno, they just don't seem like the type that would be together, alone much. You know?", TF asked/said. "Well, somethings are like that. You'll live though. Maybe they've got a lot in common. Maybe they just wanted to talk, who knows... It's not such a big deal.", Synth told TF who was becomming quite pissed. "Ah Fuck it! Drop me off at my house. I'm too tired to handle this crap now!, just let me out, I'll live...", TF said to Nibble. "I think you're loosing your marbles over nothing here guy. What's your problem, she takes him home and not you? OH, I get it.. you're..", Nibble said. "jealous of Yoda....", Synth added.. Laughing a little... "Bullshit... Just drop me off at home, and I'll meet you guys tomorrow, I think I'm gonna go over to Nikki's house, or maybe Whips.. If I drive, turn on the radio and such, I should be ok.... Later..", TF said, getting out of the car. Numb: 14 Subj: Assistance From: SYNTH Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 Just then, Leach came running up, urgently. "Hey, guys: I just got off the phone with Whip. He says he'd like some healthy backup at his place PRONTO." "Sounds good," Synth said. "Go tell Rip to get his Bertone fired up -- you should ride with him, Leach. And get Nomad -- he's riding with me. Nibble, we'll leave Ginny in your capable hands, I think she should stay here." Leach was already back inside as Nibble acknowledged. "It's too bad Nikki and Yoda took off. They could've tagged with you guys. I'll get back in contact with Whip, and update you on the CB." Nibble took off. Synth went to the garage and entered through a side door. A Genie system slowly pulled up the garage door, and inside could be seen Nomad's 280Z, Synth's CRX, and Rip's X1/9. Synth, in the CRX, was revving the engine as Nomad plopped in. "Hey, how come we're not taking my Z?" "I didn't think you'd fixed the suspension from that jump you took that last time we raced," Synth replied. Leach had just walked upand Synth looked around. "Dammit, where's Skuzzy? Fine, it'll have to be the signal-to-arms." Synth pulled out the Yamaha DX7 from behind the seat, and plugged it into the car's hi-fi PA system. (cont'd) Numb: 15 Subj: Let's go, Skuzz! From: SYNTH Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 Inside, Rip was busy talking with three people, holding a rather large drink in one hand, and wrapping his other arm around Ginny's waist. "Guys, did I ever tell you about the time I--" Suddenly a quartet of electronic trumpets blared the solo to Devo's Shout from the garage, resonating throughout the hall and cutting through all conversation. "Whoa, gotta run, guys," Rip said, handing his drink to Ginny, and giving her a quick kiss. He took off. After mere seconds, the Bertone was powered up, and it & the CRX flew out of the Guild garage, leaving the parked Z-car. With a roar, they tore away from the party, racing for the main road. The purple Bug cruised down the road at a steady, and modest, pace. Yoda, in the passenger seat, looked at Nikki thoughtfully as she drove. "Nikki?" "Yeah?" He paused. "How long have you known The Freebird?" "Oh...quite a while, I guess." She didn't seem willing to say much. "Why do you ask?" "Well, I was just--" he stopped as something behind them caught his eye. Nikki saw it too. Two sets of headlights were coming up on them incredibly fast... Numb: 16 Subj: Shit; Marty & the cruisers! From: MR. COFFEE Date: Wed Feb 19 1986 As the headlights drew nearer, so did the bubble gum machine. Yes, the pigs were on the ass of the purple bug! Along with the pigs was trailing a Mercedes Benz with two big thugs with machine guns, Marties hit men. Several shots were fired at the cruiser, killing both officers. The mercedes started bashing in the sides of the little purple beetle, while the hit-man riding shotgun got to aimin' his weapon! Mr. Coffee was just driving back with that new fangled divice of a coffee machine, with one eye on the destructions and one the other on the road. Right then it happened, a three car wreck with about thirty cops on the seen! With himself and his well protected, new-fangled appliance still intact and still in one peice, Mr. Coffee gets otta' the car..... Numb: 17 Subj: Cops, Nikki, MARtY From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Thu Feb 20 1986 By this time, the cruiser and driven itself completely off the road, and the Benz was doing a pretty good job of smashing up the little bug. The two cars were side by side, Nikki doing her best to keep her either infront or behind them. Yoda looked over at her, seeing a shotgun pointed right at her, said "Look out!", she romped on the gas, with a smash, the back quarter window bit the big one. "Guess it's a good thing Freebird wasn't with us...", he said. The Benz sped up, passing them, going down the road at a healthy 110 or so. Nikki and Yoda looked back, and saw Synth, Leech, and Rip moving closer and closer.. "No wonder they took off...", Nikki said. "Yeah, I would too...", Yoda said.. "Let's see you explain the car... new style right?" "Kind of. It's called 'el cruncho'", Nikki said. "Well, I'll see if I can get it fixed, cheap. If not, well, I'll sell it." "Whatever. It might take a while though, the whole sides busted up...", Yoda said. "I think they want you to pull over..." Nikki and Yoda pulled off the road, and the guys pulled up behind them. Synth walks over to Nikki and says "Car trouble?" "Ha ha. Very funny, Synth.... Where's TF?", Nikki asked. Numb: 18 Subj: Continued From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Thu Feb 20 1986 "He had Nibble take him home.. I think he was a 'tired'", Synth said. "Ah fuck, I needed to talk to him.", Nikki siad. "Oh,what about?", Synth asked. "OH nothing too important. I'll just call him or something. ", Nikki said. "I guess I'll see you guys later. Don't get shot.." "Later Synth.", Yoda said, as Nikki moved back onto the highway. "Do you want to talk now?", he asked. "No, I'll talk when I'm ready. What's your problem? I'm perfectly fine...", she informed him. "Yeah, right. I'm the king of Norway..". Yoda said..... knowing something was bothering her. "Here's my street" Nikki dumped Yoda off and he walked up to the door, and she took off... Not sure where she'd end up, just driving for the fuck of it..... Numb: 19 Subj: Hmmm... From: WHIPSNAP RAP Date: Thu Feb 20 1986 Whip eyed the road. His lights tore through the night, and the steady rythm of his blaring Dio caused Whip to tap his foot gas. "Damit'!" Whip yelled as he picked up his screaming car phone, "Yeh?" Whip's eyes danced across the road with enthusiasm as the voice talked. " Realy? Thats impo... huh, Ok, ok, yeh.. so this Cutshit guy's got 'nothin to do with us? Hit men, huh, sounds familiar, as in my house remembers 'em a 'bit." Whip listened to the voice again, looked down at the box again, and gave the "Later.." and hung. Whip hit his tape deck rather severly, causing the tape to fly out. Whip reached down and switched to Black Flag, heavily, and pure. Whip lifted the CB and switched to a chanel, somwhat inbetween 8 and 9. "Guys, forget about Cut, it 'aint him. Marty's got a brother, IN THE CIA!!" "Say what?!" Boomed Synth "Like I said, CIA, and he's some how convinced him we're something like, spies, or something, " Whip grumbled out some curses and continued, " they can do anything but put this in the papers, guys, shit, we've been inducted into the shadowy world of espianage. Hell, anyone got any ideas? I hear his bro also trained in a Mercanary camp, and I bet we might see some of his buddys." "Great, A - Team, here we come, this is damn stupid! What is with Marty?!" TF yelled "Wait.. wait a sec.. you know how he's got some desiese? Yeh, well, what's it called? Doesn't realy matter what its called, I know its a MENTAL AFFECTING desiese! We got a Mad-Marty on our hands!!" Nibble spoke franticly into the speaker. Numb: 20 Subj: CONTINUED... From: WHIPSNAP RAP Date: Thu Feb 20 1986 The group broke out into frantic suggestions. "Kill 'em! Kill the asshole, I say!" Whip boomed "Naw', thats a bit drastic." Nikki inputed "Hell, lets make his life rough!" Yoda heaved The argument continued..... Numb: 21 Subj: Etc... From: YODA Date: Thu Feb 20 1986 "Ok, fine. Let's teach this bastard lesson." Nikki said. "But, I do have to talk to TF and Yoda about something. Why don't Whip, Nibs, and Synth start after 'em while we talk?" "Ok, let's tear the fuck outta hear!" Whip roared. The 3 hopped into the Benz and started cruising. Whip gave a sound of triumph w/the horn as he left. "TF, I think I best talk to you first. Can you wait Yoda, I'll talk to you afterwards." "Sure, no problem." Yoda started examining the damage to the car. "TF, there's something that's been on my mind for quite a while that I can't tell anyone but you and Yoda. You see...." Numb: 22 Subj: poighpodfh From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Fri Feb 21 1986 The two began to talk quietly about something, of which Yoda paid little attention. He continued to look at the car, and then he walked infront of Nikki's smashed up bug, to TF's Karman Ghia. (You see, he had drove it there when he heard what Synth said when he called him. Keep in mind, Freebird didn't want to deal with Nikki that night, and was rather tired.) Yoda noticed that their conversation was getting louder by the second. By now he was just DIEING to know what they were talking about..... "Bullshit!, and you KNOW it!", TF told her. "Just HOW stupid do you think I am here? You don't understand do you? I'm not the stupid one here! I should have known that trying to talk reasonably with you was just plain stupid!", Yoda heard Nikki say. "uhuh", Yoda said to himself as he saw Nikki attempt to slap TF. Lucky for him he moved back at the last chance to avoid a handprint on the face. "Ah Fuckit! Why don't you and YODA get your problems straight. Seems that's what you're doing anyway!", TF said. "Next time you got a problem, tell him. Not me, I don't really give a shit anymore......" By this time Yoda was quite shocked. TF stomped past him, got in his car, and took off down the street into the darkness.... Nikki still looked rather shocked, as Yoda walked over to her.. "What'd he say? You ok?", He asked...."and what is it you needed to say to me? You really do look pissed you know.., can I help?" Numb: 23 Subj: the convo.. From: YODA Date: Fri Feb 21 1986 "Well, I told him I'm going to have to stop seeing both of you." Nikki said. "Why, was it something one or both of us did?" "Of coures not. I still like both of you a lot. It's just that it's hard to split my time, and you two seem to be competing over me, and I think it's ruining your friendship." "Don't be silly. TF and are best friends. It would take a lot more than that to stop our friendship." "You're just like him. You know that's not true. I know there's a competition, and I'm going to stop it. So, I think all of us should move on. You do understand, don't you?" "Yeah, I guess. It won't be the same without you, you know? I think I'm speaking for TF also. You're still going to be part of the alliance?" "Of course. I could never leave that. Well, I think we both should get some sleep. Let me take you home, seeing as it's a long walk." "Gee, thanks." They both fell in the battered bug and took off in search of sleep. Numb: 24 Subj: Back At The Mansion . . . From: COUNT NIBBLE Date: Fri Feb 21 1986 . . . the party was slowly breaking up into smaller and smaller groups of people as the various attendees decided to head for home. Among the stacked amps and assorted instruments on the stage at one end of the room sat Leach and Nibble, getting amazingly wasted. "Do you realize," asked Nibble, slurring his words slightly, "that if thish were The Neverending Story, I wouldn't be driving that wussy liddle white pick-up truck, Leach? Hmm?" Leach nodded slowly in assent, nursing his Heineken. "Do you know whaddi'd be driving? Do you? I'd be driving a byooootifful red F'rarri Testarossa. Buuuttttt NOOOOOOOOO, thish is a totally-'nother continuity, and all I have is that fuckin' truck. I tell ya', Leach ol' buddy, sometimes it just makes me shoooooo maaaaaad, I could..." "What couldja do?" asked Leach, trying to focus on his hand and apparently failing miserably. "Leddit oudda your system. I won' tell annybody." "I could just kick something. In fac', I think I will." Nibble got up and began to wander towards the end of the stage. "Wheres somethin I can kick, gahdammit?" "Kick thish," said Leach, carefully setting up some assorted beer bottles in a little triangle. Nibble meandered back towards the formation. "Whashould I kick? That thing there? I cann' kick that . . . oh god, it looksh soooo nice, infac' I thinggit's the mos' beautifful thingI evver saw . . " He fell to the floor and sobbed quietly to himself . . . Numb: 25 Subj: . . . From: COUNT NIBBLE Date: Fri Feb 21 1986 "What the hell's the matter with *him*?" asked Ginny, who had wandered up the stage during Nibble's little brush with Ultimate Beauty. "He's drunk," replied Leach, "In fact, I think I'm drunk too. Totally blitzed." Ginnly looked around the stage at all the empty beer bottles. "I think you're right," she said. "Well, it's almost five. I think it's time I got you two to bed." She moved over to Leach, who promptly grabbed her on the ass. She jumped back. "HEY! Hands off, sucker, or I'll Mace you. You're lively enough to take care of yourself. Give me a hand with this whimpering mass." "Okay," said Leach as he got up and moved over the the form on at the stage edge. "C'mon pard, we godda be up by noon at leasht". "We're going to bed," added Ginny. "We are?" asked Nibble. "Oh Ginny, thash juss great, infac' I thinggits' the mosh beauddiful thing anyones evver donefor me . . ." Nibble started sobbing again. "Maybe I should rephrease that . . ." Ginny said . . Numb: 26 Subj: MR. C*FFEE'S MACHINE From: MR. COFFEE Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 After about three citations (wreckless driving, speeding, and failure to follow another vehicle at a safe distance), Mr. Coffee set up his new gimmicky divice; it worked quit well, but he decided to have a few beers instead. "Should I crash that party? Naa, too fuckin' late." "Fuck, shit. Not a fuckin' thing to do here except do this fuckin laundry and drink this beer which tastes like the fuckin' can." "Fuckin' dick-shit pig; Why the fuck didn't he see what them phuckers in that Benz did to my fuckin car?!" Yes sir, Mr. Coffee was pissed and READY FOR ACTION! But what action? A short while later, Mr. Coffee was thinkin' 'bout some rather nasty ideas! Numb: 27 Subj: ...morning...! From: SYNTH Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 The first rays of sunlight peeked through the curtains and danced annoyingly across Synth's unconscious face. Slowly Synth was pulled out of the depths of dreamland... "......awwww, shit...." the morning felt like numb slaps to his unconscious. Valiantly he kept his body totally relaxed, denying his consciousness a fair chance. Nevertheless his sleep was fading. He was losing a dream, and as his consciousness took over he was just beginning to remember it. He was dreaming about ... Ginny! His mind went TWANG as his eyes popped open halfway. "Oh Jesus, how can I be dreaming about Rip's girlfriend?" he thought to himself. He didn't need this. But then he reflected about the dream, about her: that pretty-girl face, those luscious eyes ... bouncy sandy-blonde hair, equally bouncy---- "Ok, Synth, stop it," he recited to himself, out loud. "No one, least of all you, needs this. So what if that body knocks you out ... over and over ... again ..." He closed his sleepy eyelids. "Fuck the morning," he mumbled, pulling the covers over his head. Little did he know something awfully strange was going on downstairs... Numb: 28 Subj: Meanwhile.. From: BLACKBEARD Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 Meanwhile, Blacky lay sprawled upon his fur rich bed, fingering his sawed off shotgun. Occasionally a very pretty girl would walk in, serve him wine, of feed him grapes. "get the fuck out of here! leave me alone.." shouted Blacky. The girl was shocked and offended, but she quietly left the room. Blacky got up from his bed and paced back and forth, bored. He had nothing to do.. except take pot shots at crows. BBOORRRRIIIIINNNNNGGGGG!!!!! Blacky went back inside and laid down again, and tried to sleep. Impossible. He had rester 14 hours, and was fully awake and alert. Blacky wanted to KILL! The word flashed through his mind, as did Marty.. Numb: 29 Subj: Mr. Coffee and Blackbeard From: MR. COFFEE Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 While thinking about this scheme, Mr. Coffee dedided to get into the Over-Board. His thinking was that there might be some good anarchy suggestions there. Then Blackbeard broke in and typed: What's yer scheme? Mr. Coffee's reply was: I've been phucked! Got any suggestions? Meanwhile, the Count was recovering from his hangover along with Leach. Synth was doing his normal morning ruteins. Yes, indeed another morning has dawned. Who knows what may have happened with that conversation between Blackbeard and Mr. Coffee. Only time would tell. . .! Numb: 30 Subj: More.... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 That afternoon, at about 12:00, Synth, Yoda, and TF met at Burger king for some lunch. Before too long Nibble and Leach managed to stumble in and make their way to the booth next to them. "You guys look dead.", Yoda told them. "We are, we're just too drunk to know it", Nibble replied. "Oh gooood. You guys up for a movie tonight?", TF asked the group. They discussed it for quite a while, and then decieded they'd be go get a newspaper, and see what was playing... "I'll go get one...", Synth said, getting up from the booth, and walking over to another table where a man had left a copy of the tribune. "here we go, " he added, flipping to the proper pages. "Well? What looks good?", Leach asked? "Debbie does Dallas", TF said. "No, how bout something thrilling... Hmm. Iron Eagle still playing?" "Uhuh.. wanna go see it?", Synth asked. "Maybe... There's other stuff though, let's just plan on Iron Eagle at 9:30 tonight. Ok? fine. Far North. WEll, I better run, Later guys.", Yoda said. Numb: 31 Subj: . . . From: COUNT NIBBLE Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 " . . . but I don't WANNA go to fucking 'Iron Eagle'!" whined Nibble from his corner of the booth. "I saw it last week and it SUCKED!" "Well, Yoda already left, and the rest of us want to go," said Synth, "so I guess you'll have to either come along or stay alone at the mansion ton . . ." Synth, who had been glancing over his shoulder, turned back around quickly. "Guys, don't do anything. Just sit." Marty Lavens had just walked through the door of the Burger King and walked up to the counter. He was followed by a little kid in a satin jacket with 'Clover Club' stitched elaborately across the back. "I can't believe it!" said Leach. "Is that POTATO . . . uh, PRINGLES?" "I think so," offered Freebird. "We'd better dump this joint before they see us." The foursome got up and headed for the door, dumping their trash as they passed the bins. But just as the last one (Nibble) was leaving, Pringles looked up and noticed the SWPG patch on his jacket. "MARTY! LOOK! PIRATES!" screamed the diminutive prick, causing Freebird, Nibble, Synth, and Leach to break into a run . . . heading for Nibble's truck and Synth's CRX. "What the fuck are we going to do?" screamed Synth. Nibble replied. "For starters, I think it's time to break out the secret weapon . . ." Numb: 32 Subj: That Ol' Secret Weapon From: COUNT NIBBLE Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 " . . . Leach, Freebird, block the doors. I'll need some extra time." Leach and TF ran back to the exit doors of the Burger King and held them shut, despite the protestations of Marty and Pringles, who were screaming and trying desparately to get out. "What are you TALKING about Nibble?" asked Synth. "What secret weapon?" "Synth, Ol' buddy," said Nibble as he ran around to the back of his truck and opened the camper shell, "you know what a stickler I am about keeping continuity. And you know how I always rag on anyone who springs crazy, unex- pected plot developments into the Story." Synth nodded as Nibble pulled out a small black box. "Well I know you've always stood by me when I've said those things, but this time the situation is desparate. If we don't get out of here, and quick, Marty is going to get us and I don't want to think what that psycho- path will do to us if he does . . . so I kinda hope you'll just forget what I'm about to do and not remind me of it next time I rag on Whip for bringing back Cuthrell or something . . . " "Nibble, what the HELL are you going to DO?" screamed Synth. "This," said Nibble as he pushed a button on the box. Suddenly, a dull roar started to wash over the paking lot, and the wind rose. Tiny lightning bolts danced around the CRX and the truck, moving slowly from the front to the back. Everyone shielded their eyes as the cars began to glow brighter and brighter, brighter even than the sun . . . As their eyesight returned to normal, the foursome saw sitting before them a black DeTomaso Pantera and a red Ferrari Testarossa. Numb: 33 Subj: ; j From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 Nibble and Synth jumped in the driver's seats, and pulled up to the doors Leach and Freebird were holding shut. "C'mon guys!", Synth said. Leach let go of his door, and jumped into the first car, then Nibble pulled up to get Freebird. TF openned the door, at which time Marty got a step in, and SLAM, TF pushed the door shut with all his strangth, smaking Marty's nose into the door. Then he ran for the car, jumped in and they were off. Gone. No way they could have been caught up to... A while later, after they'd pulled off into some sides streets, to make sure they weren't being followed, the foursome met up again..... "You really do need to get red of that patch, Nibble.", Leach said. "That was DAMN close!" "Well, now we know who Potato is though....", TF said, hoping into his car that he'd parked there, instead of the BK parking lot. "Well, I have some stuff to do, you boys don't get too obnoxious. I'll catcha at the movies... Remember, 9:30! Oh yeah, if you find anyone else that's comming invite them, the more the marrier..." "Ok, take it easy.. we'll see you tonight", Synth said, as Leach and Nibble also departed off on there way. Synth started back to his house to, but maybe with a stop off at a friend's house. Maybe to ful-fill a dream.... Numb: 34 Subj: FUCK yeah!!!! From: SYNTH Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 Synth slammed on the brakes. "What the hell am I DOING?!" He flipped on the 2-way radio. "Nibble! Get your ASS back over here!" "You got it!" Nibble replied, and was off. "Synth," Leach said, "what are you talking about?" Synth looked over at Leach, and bulging his eyeballs, shouted, "FUCK the goddamn movie! We've got our CARS back!!!" Surveying the interior, he found that everything was there, just like before: the Fairlight system, the Alpine stereo set-up...wait, this was different: a picture of-- Synth quickly grabbed the picture and stuffed it into his pocket. Leach pretended not to notice. "You didn't notice that, Leach," Synth said, flipping on a switch labeled BRAKE LOCK. Then he gunned the engine, and the rear tires spun on the pavement, making an incredible noise. Leach, scrambling for his seat belt, said, "Oh shit, I remember THIS..." Synth flipped the brake switch, and the Pantera lurched forward through a white cloud of tire smoke, just as the Testarossa whizzed by at 80+ miles aan hour. Leach's mouth formed a smirk. "No problem," he said to himself, as Synth pushed the accelerator in full throttle. The world of Montgomery westbound rushed by as the Pantera went to 60 mph in barely 6 seconds, and quickly caught up to Nibble... Numb: 35 Subj: Superauto Illustrated From: SYNTH Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 Gaining on the Ferrari, Synth levelled off speed to match Nibble's, and turned on the 2-way again. "Nibble, you and your goddamn continuity -- FUCK IT ALL!!!" Nibble responded in his enthusiasm by flooring the Testa. The Pantera did the same, and together they careened down the boulevard at 80+. The two cars ZIPPPED past a parked APD unit, and the two officers in the car gaped in shock at the radar reading. The rookie, in the passenger seat, started crying. The driver just sat in shock. All he'd seen were a red and black FLASH. He spoke to his tearful partner. "Mehbe Kirrtland's doin' some missile testin'..." Pulling up to some random private airstrip in Los Lunas, the two machines opened the doors for their occupants. Everyone wore grins after the morning's high-speed activities. Nibble said, "It's about sundown, guys. Let's go get Rip ... he'll go fucking crazy when he sees THIS..." Synth, thoughtful for a second, said, "you guys go on ahead. I'll meet you there ... later ..." Nikki was about to turn on the evening's reruns of He-Man when she heard a HONK outside her house. Opening the door, she saw Synth leaning against a pearl-black Pantera. "Wanna go for a ride, miss?" he said to her. Numb: 36 Subj: Next article in SAI From: MR. COFFEE Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 Nikki jumped into the pearl black pantera with Synth. Around the corner flashed a blue car with it's lights runnin' and accellerating faster towards the black pantera. When Synth saw this, he decided to try a different approach. At the breafing at Las Lunas, the Count mention something different about this car then other Panteras. Meanwhile, Nikki decided to play with the cigarette lighter. Synth's reply: "Please don't toutch that ciggarette lighter, Miss" "Why" "Just take my word for it" After this, Synth opened the glove compartment while the APD car approached closer. "Why are you opening that glove compartment?" Nikke asked.. Synth replied: "Trust me!" The cops were getting rather numerous and cornered the little vehicle. Right then, Synth pulled out the box that contain a red switch with several red lights. He pulled the lever and a few things started to happen. . . Numb: 37 Subj: Continued From: MR. COFFEE Date: Sat Feb 22 1986 First, wings started popping out the sides. The trunk opened to reveal what looks like the ass end of the space shuttle. Smoke started to fill the air as two rocket boosters started blasting underneath. Yes sir, the ass end fired up as the car hovered! Within the next microsecond, the car was gone, with nothing but a glowing streak in the sky! Mr. Coffee was busy working on his scheme. Looking out his dorm window, he saw what looked like a vapor trail from a jet crusing at 35,000 feet; only this one glowed! Mr. Coffee mumbled, "Hay, it's Haley's Comet!" Right then, about a thousand paychecks which belonged to the APD were wiped out! Yes sir, Mr. Coffee didn't fuck around this time! "Fuck, maybe I should work on their credit accounts next!" Numb: 38 Subj: That night.... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Sun Feb 23 1986 That night, Leach, Yoda, and Nibble were sitting inside the theatre, waiting for the others to arrive. A few minutes later, TF walked in, without paying, of course, and walked over to the group. "I do hope the others do us the honor of showing up.... You'd think with Synth's car he'd at least be on time..." "Well, maybe they ran into a little trouble or something, I dunno", Leach said looking out the big windows to the street. Yoda got a funny look on his face as he said, "Maybe Machine Gun Marty got em'" "I'll go try his house again...", Nibble said, walking over to the pay phone. "Call Nikki and see if she plans on going, maybe she doesn't even know..", TF siad to Yoda, who walked over to the other phone. "Not home.", Nibble said. "He must have already left." Yoda walked back over to the group a few seconds later, to update them, "Her mom said she was out with some guy in a black car." "That certainly explains that, they're probably on their way now. They probably should be here any minute.", TF said. "They left 2 hours ago. Maybe we should go look for them... something might have happened. ", Yoda suggested. "C'mon guys." "I'm sure nothings wrong, they're probably fucking each other..", TF added.. Numb: 39 Subj: More. From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Sun Feb 23 1986 "Ah fuck, let's deffinatly go look for them then!", Leach said, heading to the doors. "Probably nothing happend, maybe they just got tied up in something and forgot..", Yoda said.. "I'm gonna go check though. Are you guys comming?" "I'll go with you, but I'm not Cumming.", TF said.. . They all left the theatre to go look for Nikki and Synth had disappeared off the face of the earth. As they got in their cars, and turned on the CB's an announcement came over the radio: "We have a three car pile up on the freeway, a station wagon, a camper, and a little black sports car, they're pretty mangled, I can't really tell what kind they are... we're gonna need an ambelance out here pronto. Send the fire department too, there's leaking gas everywhere..." Yoda looked over at Nibble and Leach who were quite shocked, it might not be them, but then again..... The guys floored their cars, rushing off to the freeway to see if their freinds were in the mangled messes of metal..... Numb: 40 Subj: The Pile-Up From: SYNTH Date: Mon Feb 24 1986 As paramedics and ambulances arrived on the scene, a blonde guy in a white blazer & pants and a black guy in a grey outfit pulled themselves from the crumpled heap of their Ferrari Daytona Spyder. "Ah hell, Rico," the blond one said. "Why didja hafta cut off that damn 911 Turbo like that? At 90 miles an hour, even." Totally cool, the other one said, "Hey, I thought he needed a lesson." Slightly miffed, the blonde slipped on a pair of shades. "We never shoulda come to this town..." Just then, a small convoy headed by a red Testarossa passed by. Nibble and Leach looked at each other, and Nibble said, "I'm not going to ask. No, I'm not going to speculate..." "At least it wasn't the Pantera," Leach offered. "And now the movie's fucked. I wonder where Synth and Nikki are..." Suddenly Nibble opened the electric sunroof and looked up. There was something doing loops high in the air, as Sleeping Bag could be heard blasting out of its 500 watt external speakers. "Jesus, it looks like a damn ZZTop video!" Leach said, looking straight up. Nibble was on the 2-way immediately. "Synth, stop screwing around! I know you can hear me -- meet the rest of us at the Mansion in 15 minutes." With that, the Testa et al. took off. Numb: 41 Subj: Test cleared! From: MR. COFFEE Date: Mon Feb 24 1986 Indeed, as soon as the Pantera landed on the heliport, the Count asked Synth: "What the fuck, why did you have to pull that?!" Synth replied: "Long story with the pigs. . .Ah, Nikki I said not to play with that damn ciggarette lighter!" Wham! The ejector seat went off with the parachute. Count's reply: "Fuck, now we're gonna have to repack the whole son-of-a-bithcin' outfit! If you would stop fuckin' around, Synth, we could get a whole fuck of a lot more done!" Mr. Coffee still sits at his console, wonderin' what to pull next.. . . "Ah yes, now that the pigs are fixed up, why not do somethin' with Coleco? Or, should I do some phuckin' around with Marty?" Numb: 42 Subj: Get together. From: YODA Date: Mon Feb 24 1986 All the other cars pulled up, and for that very moment, EVERYONE was there. "Fucking thanks for the movie guys." TF said. "No shit, what is this shit?" Nibble continued. "Never mind for now. Just believe it happened, and things are just about next to normal. Listen, now that we finally have our true vehicles, I say we do some damage to Marty, and Pringles while were at it." Synth answered. "Bueno idea. Just exactly do you have in that car of yours?" Yoda asked..... Numb: 43 Subj: Synth's reply From: MR. COFFEE Date: Tue Feb 25 1986 Synth replied: "Oh, just a little somethin' I picked along the way from the Kirtland." Yoda: "How the fuck did you get in there?" Synth: "I managed to hit the cloaking divice on that Pantera, works great!" Yoda: "What's it for?" Synth: "To fuck Marty and Hayes Hacker!" Yoda: "How?" Synth: "Trust me! Heh heh heh.!." Meanwhile, Mr. Coffee's new divice began to show its age! "Fuck, the timer's gone, heatin' element burnt out, 'guess I'll have to git 'nother one! Nah, instead I'll pay a visit to Marty!" Numb: 44 Subj: Abortion From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Tue Feb 25 1986 TF wondered over to where Yoda and Synth were sitting, and admired his car slightly.... "Where's the second seat?", TF asked humourously. "Nikki took it for a trip", Synth said... "A pretty shitty trip I might ad!", she said, walking back from where she finally landed.. "Studying to be a Blue Angle eh? Now that you've got ejection down, all you need to do is learn how to fly...", Yoda said... "Not funny..", Nikki said, removing the parachute from her shoulder... "I'm starved... let's get something to eat...." Nibble hearing this walks over to her, grabbing his masculinity and says "I'll give you something to eat! "No thanks... I don't like Viane Sasages", she told him.. "But seriously, how bout we go to restraunt... I got this neato Visa here, and I can use it.. let's go...." "Free food huh? Hmmm. Where at? I got it, let's try High Finance.... Nice an expensive, your parent's are rich, they'll never know...", TF said, edging the others to agree that this chance couldn't be passed up.... Numb: 45 Subj: Cont.. From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Tue Feb 25 1986 "Count me in here! Food.. at NO cost...", Leach said, jumping in Nibble's car. The group left the Mansion, and went up to the Tram... "I hope they take Visa for tickets, otherwise we'll have to walk up.. haha ha", Yoda said, piling in the door behind Nikki, who had Visa in hand.. "Can I help you?", some geekish (Must be Domino) salesmen asked.. "Yeah, the lady wants, 7 tickets for the tram.", TF told the pencil neck geek in a rather rude (as usual) way. "7? Who for the army?", the geek responded... "No, for Nibble, Yoda, Leach, Synth, Nikki, and me. Plus one for anyone else that happens to pop in... Is there a PROBLEM with that?", TF told the nerdish geek that was beginning to piss him off. "Oh. Since you put it that way, here you go... Cash or charge?" "Visa!", Nikki said... the nerd processed the order, and instructed the group to wait in the next room over... Before long, they were in the tram car alone, with one attendent and some other nerdish looking guy... the ride was a little bumpy, kind of like a trouble with the engines... what could POSSIBLY happen if the group were stuck up there by themselves, and only a few other people..?? Numb: 46 Subj: Before too long.. From: MR. COFFEE Date: Wed Feb 26 1986 The ride started gettin' 'little bumpier. Soon, it stoped about half way up the tram. The nerdish lookin' guy at the switch was lookin' towards Nikki and smiling. Soon, the nerd took a little trip himself; out the hatch, thanks to TF and Count Nibble! Mr. Coffee was getting sick of Alpo (the dorm cafeteria) and decided to really spend some money. So, he decided to head towards that restaurant and bar up the Sandia Peek, eat, drink, get drunk, and head back down or spend the night takin' pictures; what ever would come to mind. Soon, the tram started to move again (after the Count had found and pulled the switch). From then on, everything seemed cool, except for one problem. . . As Mr. Coffee was drivin' his car up towards the tram, another car was following. Yes, Marty was on his ass! "Oh shit, what the fuck could he want?!" Mr. Coffee had bought his ticket, boarded the tram, and had a rather unexpected guest along with him. . . . "Ah, wonderful view, aye?". . . Numb: 47 Subj: Stranger.. From: YODA Date: Thu Feb 27 1986 "Yeah." Said ANOTHER pencil neck geek. But, this guy was worse. His name was Domino because he'd keep falling over himself. "Why do you dare come near us?" Mr. Coffee asked.. "Well, you see, umm, I, uh, really want to be part of, uh, you're, umm, you know, the Level 8 club." "Hahahahaha, this high altitude must be getting to me.. What the hell did you just say?" "Uh, never mind. It was pretty dumb of me to think of that. I'm sorry, please don't hurt me." "Listen, not one of those people in the Level 8 would hesitate to just throw you out of the tram right now. You're just lucky I don't think you're good enough for that.." "Gee, thanks. Then, if you're not going to do anything to me, what's going to happen?" Numb: 48 Subj: What's going to happen? From: MR. COFFEE Date: Thu Feb 27 1986 Mr. Coffee's reply: "Listen; if you just get otta' my way and forget you ever saw me, then I won't ram my fist down your throught". Mr. Coffee deboarded, along with a few other geeks, pinheads, and what have ya. "Shit, that fuckin' car wasn't Marty, just little fuckin' Domino." "Why'd I have to come here of all places? Why all these dip-shit geeks? Well, I paid my bucks to get up here, so I guess I'll make the best of it." Mr. Coffee got a rather pleasant surprise as he listened into another conversation near one of the corners of the bar/restaurant. . . "What are we gonna' do 'bout Marty?". . ."Well, I say hang loose and if he fucks us, then we fuck him!" Yes, indeed a phun evenin' has started. As for Domino? Well, he kinda' got "tied up for the moment"! Numb: 49 Subj: Later on... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Sun Mar 02 1986 After Mr. Coffee had listened to enough of the conversation to know it wasn't the right Marty, he decieded to walk around a little.... (Gosh, are all assholes named Marty?) He walked just a short way, and found the table where the rest of the guys (and girl) were sitting, telling rude space shuttle jokes.... "Bud light...", Nibble said, expressing the fact that the joke was QUIT old. He caught MC's eye, and motioned for him to sit in the empty seat. "How's life?" "Ok. Just ran into Domino", MC said, sipping on a drink. "I think you should kick his ass, TF. He's a real dick.", Yoda told him. "I know that, you know that, everyone here knows that, but I can't do it yet. It's animal protection day.", TF said.. Looking across the room to the front doors. 5 Guys in sun glasses in the night time?) and trench coats came in. They walked over to the register, and began talking to the clerk. One of them hit her, and took the keys to the restraunt. They then went over and locked the doors.. "Isn't this interesting guys? I guess they don't want us to leave without paying the bill or something..", Nikki said laughing a little. "No, looks like FEDS to me!", Synth said. Numb: 50 Subj: No problem... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Sun Mar 02 1986 "No problem, we'll just take the fire exit.", Mr. Coffee said, starting to get up from his chair. "Wait, sit back down! Since when do FEDS hit people with NO reason, in PUBLIC places... ", Leach offered. Just then, the men that were now positioned around the place pulled out sawed off shotguns from their jackets, one of them spoke to the people.. "Ok ladies, would you please empty your purses into the bag comming around, and would you men put watches, wallets, and other items of value in it too. Do it our way and no one will be harmed, but we're gonna kill anyone who doesn't do this" TF, under his breath said to the rest of the guys, "Is anyone here besides me armed?" Nibble had a .38., Synth had a 357, and Nikki had her little 22 that she used to wart off the boogy men.. (Or any drunken guy in town...) TF had his 45.. The rest of the guys didn't bother to take a fire arm with them.. they didn't think they'd need it. "You guys realize that's 1 and 1/4 guy a piece... Ok.. we're gonna have to hit at the same time, otherwise innocent people are gonna get hurt.. let's do this nice an easy people.. Ready?" Numb: 51 Subj: FIRE!! From: YODA Date: Sun Mar 02 1986 The "feds" moved in closer. TF was ready to give the sign of attack. He looked at Nikki, the at Yoda, and then to the rest of the group. The bag full of money, jewels, etc. was making it's way around to them. Finally, after a very tense five minutes, the bag reached their table. Mr. Coffee took ahold of it, and put whatever money he had left in. He gave it to TF and gave him a sly smile. TF took the bag, carefully put is .45 inside, and aimed at the guy who did all the talking. TF looked around again letting everyone know what was about to happen. He gave a little nod, and fired killing his victom.... Numb: 52 Subj: All cleared! From: MR. COFFEE Date: Sun Mar 02 1986 By the time it was all over, 'bout five of Marty's henchmen were dead. Everything was motionless. People were panickey, but no one was hurt. MC told Freebird: "Well, wasn't this fun?!" TF replied: "I wouldn't say that, MC, but I think we had better get the fuck 'otta here right now!" MC opened the floor for a motion: "I say we all get the fuck 'otta here, we had enough drinking; now it's time to go to work!" "Settle down, you're going into a frenzy" replied the Count to MC. MC took another drink 'o his Mocha Java and Gin (his favorite drink). Meanwhile, a discussion started around the group. "Well", MC repleid; "the croud might think we're in this or at least was somehow connected to those five!" TF replied: "Let's all take a survey". . . . Numb: 53 Subj: . . . From: COUNT NIBBLE Date: Sun Mar 02 1986 The "survey" idea was cut short by a burst of gunfire from the front-door area. Someone outside the restaurant was trying very hard to get in, and was about to succeed. "I think the time for questions is over," said Nikki, 'appropriating' an Ingram M-10 from the jacket of one of the lifeless heaps on the floor. "The time for ESCAPE has arrived. I don't know who that is at the door, but I'm not going to wait around and find out that it's more of these goons." "Agreed", said Nibble. "Let's get out of this joint NOW, guys . . ." Just then, the front door blew open. "NOW, GUYS! COVER US, NIKKI!" Nikki swept the doorway with steady fire from the Ingram as the rest of the group made a hasty retreat from their booth towards the back of the restaurant. "Hey, wait! I'm not done with my DRINK yet!" yelled Leach, who hauled his obnoxiously-ornamented Mai-Tai with him. Coffee was the first to reach the swinging doors into the kitchen, only to find the doors chained shut. "No problem," said Freebird, blowing his way clear with his .45. "Move it out, people!" Chefs, already in a frenzy because of the padlocked doors, totally froke when the seven heavily armed people ran through their kitchen. Some threw dishes, while others cursed in assorted dialects of French. Synth retorted by deflating thier silly hats with seemingly random, but actually carefully aimed, shots. With all the distractions, Leach was the first to reach the delivery entrance at the back of the restaruant . . . Numb: 54 Subj: "Going Mobile..." From: RIP SKUZZBOPPER Date: Sun Mar 02 1986 Nibble covered Nikki as she ran through the rear doors. He didn't see what he was shooting at, but it didn't really matter. The rest of the group had runa round the side and were making tracks for the parking lot. The sounds of gunfire echoed in the night air, half of the group ws fireing at everything that moved. Yodo was the first one to break into the large black-top desert. He was quickly followed by Freebird, Mr Coffee, and Nikki, then all the rest. The parking lot had about ten cars in it, and four of them were parked real close to the exit-road. The doors opened and some more trench-coat villains stepped bearing asorted weapons of mass destruction. Again the gun fire erupted as the brave band took cover behind the parked cars. "Oh shit," said Nibble, as his gun when click,"out of lead." "Me too!" shouted Nikki. "How is everybody else holding out!" Synth, shooting and inflicting a case of high-velocity lead poisoning, shouted"I dunno, but this could get a little tricky." Out of nowhere a van came crashing threw the parked cars and prone men at the exit of the parking lot. The sounds of gunfire drowed in the growling of a high-performance engine and a face poked of the driver seat as it came to a halt near Nibble. "Why do you guys always start a party without me?" asked Rip. Numb: 55 Subj: Cont... From: YODA Date: Sun Mar 02 1986 "Sorry, your phone was busy." TF yelled. "Just let us the fuck in the Van!" "NO! What about the Ferrarri, and Countach? We can't leave those here." Nibble said. "Don't worry about it, just get in the Van before we get killed, or something fun like that." Nikki said. Bullets were flying everywhere, as Rip opened the Van. "C'mon, get in... We don't exactly have much time." The group crawled in with minor damages. "Anybody hurt?" synth asked. "No, just a hole or two in my favorite shirt." Yoda said. "Good, take us away, Rip.." Numb: 56 Subj: Rip hauls ass From: MR. COFFEE Date: Mon Mar 03 1986 As soon as everyone got in, the van started screamin' down the hill. MC said "where the fuck did they come from?" Leach replied, "I don't know, but Marty's been raggin' on us for too fuckin' long and I'm getting pissed!" Meanwhile, another car started up from the parking lot and was starting to draw nearer to the van. Rip said "oh shit, more trouble!" Meanwhile, MC said to Count "guess what." The Count replied "I don't know." MC said "I saw Halley's the other night while I was doin' my usual thing." Synth opened up and replied, "was it goin' pretty fast?" MC said "yea, zippin' right along!" Synth replied, "you didn't see the comet, it was just me and Nikki gettin' away from the pigs." MC said "well shit, did you two fly or what (heh heh)?" Synth: "You'll find out soon enough!" Soon the van and the car were side by side, with the car bashing on the van. Rip did a lefty and car ripped through the guard rails. . . Numb: 57 Subj: Into The Night From: SYNTH Date: Mon Mar 03 1986 Screams emanated from within the black sedan as it wrapped itself around a tree at 60+ MPH. Rip saw that two more sedans were coming up on him fast. "It's not over yet, people!" Then he saw the road sign that flew past: CURVES AHEAD -- REDUCE SPEED. "FUCK no," Rip said, leaning on the accelerator. "Guys, you'd all better put on your seat belts. We're going for a RIDE!" Rip took off his Gargoyles. After all, this could get serious. Nibble was lucky enough to be in the front passenger seat, and he promptly said his non-denominational prayers. Synth and Nikki said their farewells, TF, MC and Yoda held onto each other, and Leach sat on the floor of the van, singing to himself. The first curve came up: normally a hard right, but at this speed it was suicidal. The Van's tires screamed out as Rip wrenched the wheel over, but the Van held traction. Now a hard left. Lateral G's now dominated everybody's lives, and the Van hugged dangerously thru the turn. Nibble looked back. The two sedans were hanging in there, but the gunfire had stopped, for obvious reasons. The curves increased. Left, right, left. Each time it felt like they might lose it. Suddenly Rip spoke. "Oh SHIT..." Numb: 58 Subj: (no, I'm not done yet) From: SYNTH Date: Mon Mar 03 1986 The curve up ahead was a NINETY DEGREE turn. Rip slammed on the brakes. He didn't read the speedometer, which said 68. Suddenly a large jolt forward and a metallic CRUNCH sounded as the first sedan hit them from behind. The turn came up. Rip let off the brakes, and cranked the wheel right. Everyone shouted out as their seat belts prevented them from being slammed against the left side of the cabin. But Leach, unstrapped, flew into the side with his head, knocking him out. Now everyone felt something else: the van was going up on two wheels! Just as they were about to tip over, Rip jerked the wheel left quickly, making the right side of the van PLOP back down on the ground, as they nearly ran off the road. Swinging it right, he wrestled the van back onto the road. Behind them, the first sedan, totally missing the turn, plowed straight through the guardrail, HEAD ON into the mountainside. The second one fishtailed out, starting the turn, but then skipped on the pavement and flipped into the air in a dazzling display. It smacked into the dark cliffside. The group watched the fireworks behind them as they caught their breath, glad to be alive. Rip was glad too, looking back from the driver's seat. Then his mind said "ROAD!! WRONG LANE!!" BEEEEEEEEEEEEP! A Mazda RX7's horn frantically announced the same thing as it approached them head on. The van lurched back into the right lane, barely missing the car. Numb: 59 Subj: Africa From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Mon Mar 03 1986 Rip slowed the car down to a mild 60, and continued down the road, since the curves were over... "See if you can wake Leach up.", Nibble said, looking back at Nikki. She removed her seatbelt, knelt down next to where he was laying, giving him a gentle slap on the face, to wake him up. No good, he wouldn't wake up.. Then she tried TALKing him awake.. "I'll be your best friend..", no responce... "I'll give you $100", No responce... "Free fuck!", he didn't even move.. "Ha", Yoda said, seeing Nikki's fool proof method fail.. "I'm crushed..", she said, getting up, knowing he wouldn't be waking up for a while.." MC and Yoda stuffed since into the back seat, and then climbed back their themselves... TF moved into the middle seat with Nikki, and started talking to Rip. "Nice piece of driving there... You ever notice that no matter where we go, we end up in trouble?", TF said, grabbing a box of .45 rounds from under the seat. "You get my wad cutters?" "No, didn't have time, I'll get them tomorrow..", Rip said, "Use those, they're almost as good.. Hopefully you won't have to use it at all." "Isn't that the truth", TF said, putting bullets into the clips laying around the van that he'd left..... Numb: 60 Subj: More Africans From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Mon Mar 03 1986 "What are wad cutters?", Nikki inquired from TF, who was busy stuffing his clips full.. "Cop killers, they go through metal, through bullet proof vests, and through almost anything else... Pretty hard to come by too. Why?, Want some?" "I doubt it. I'm happy with my .22", she said, putting it back in her purse.. "A 22? Shit, you'd be better of to THROW it at them, rather then shoot them. ha ha a 22...", Rip said, looking at her in the mirror.. "Synth? You still awake?", Nibble asked... "Not by choice... ", he replied, pushing a blanket up against the side of the van, trying to get some sleep. ] "Here, try this out when you get a chance, remember, it kicks a little.", TF said to Nikki, handing her his .45... "Um guys, let's stop at a 7 11, or something, I need something sweet.. This Rich kid food get's to me after a while, I never did like it.. ", Nikki said. "Ok, there's one about 5 minutes from here, we'll go there... Anybody else want anything?", Rip asked the group.. Numb: 61 Subj: Still more Africans From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Mon Mar 03 1986 "I wanna piss!", an obnoxious voice yelled from the back.. Leach had woke up, and was making his presence known... The van pulled into a Circle K, the back door swung open, and Leach walked around to the back to take a piss... Rip and Nibble got out to put gas in, and Nikki went inside to get them some candy and crap... (NOT litrally!) Synth, Yoda, MC, and TF waited in the van. "I'm so tired, I could die.", TF explaimed.... "Uhoh... looks like Nikki met some new friends", Yoda said, pointing into the Circle K, where a few punks were antagonizing her.. "I say we go give them a surprize." "I say we tell them she's got herpes!", Mr. Coffee said, laughing, but ready to stop any trouble that might arise... "I say we Kick there ASS!", Synth said, moving out of the van.. "No wait, I wanna see what she does first, if something happens, we'll go in, but I wanna see what she does when someone hits on her..", TF said, putting his arm out, to stop Synth from getting out... "Let's just wait..." By this time, Leach had returned about 10 fluid pounds lighter, Nibble was in the passenger seat once again, and Rip was crawling back into the driver's seat.... Numb: 62 Subj: Africans? From: YODA Date: Tue Mar 04 1986 "What the hell is Nikki doing with those puck dudes?" Rip asked as he stepped inside. "Probably playing with their minds, if I know her." TF answered. "Are you just going to let her stand there and not do anything?" "for the moment, yes. We're gonna wait 'til they try someth..." One of the punks pulled out a switchblade, and started to wrap it around Nikki's neck. He was from a porn movie studio, and needed an actress. "Nikki's about to see what the 45 can do to somebody real fast hear." TF yelled. "Wait, make sure you don't hurt Nikki." Synth interrupted. "Make sure she's in the clear." The punk started to force her into Ford Escort. "I'm gonna blow that mother fucker in half!!" TF bursted. He drew back, took careful aim, and.... Numb: 63 Subj: Fired! From: MR. COFFEE Date: Tue Mar 04 1986 Yes sir, there was one punk blown to peices like a dead musquito, and one Nikki left standin'. Mr. Coffee replied: "Hey, is there still time for me to get coffee?" As Nikki hurried to the van, TF replied: "Fuck no, we gotta' rip!" Soon, Rip was on the gas pedal and speedily heading towards I-40. Within minutes, Rip switched on his two-way: "Be on the lookout for a black van last known headed down I-40." Mr. Coffee replied: "Well, looks like we're all in this; Freebird: grab me some shells!" While TF was going about this, MC clicked on his super-duper portable-drip pocket coffee maker (He's allways prepared for situations like this!), and brewed some. He then replied: "Ya'll want somethin' to drink t' keep ya awake?" TF said: "Why did you want to stop at Circle-K for coffee when you already had that thing?" MC replied: "Oh, I only use this for emergencies!" He then pushed a tiney butten, out poored his coffee and his 44 mag barrel (it came with the package he ripped from James Bond!). Meanwhile, everyone was ready for action. . . Numb: 64 Subj: Bud light... (Just Kidding) From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Wed Mar 05 1986 "I think maybe we should dump this thing for a while.", Yoda said, after hearing the report... "Me too, I think we should avoid all trouble.", Coffee said.... "They've got a point Rip, Maybe we SHOULD dump the van..", Nibble said.. "Yeah, great, but what else can hold us all?", Rip replied.. Jus then, a sign went past. "Fast Freddie's Campers" "Oh no! Not THAT!", Nikki said.. Rip did a 360, turned around and drove into the lot.. They emptied out, and spread out, to find a good enough camper.. Just so happend there was a salesmen there.... Rip and Nibble started talking prices... "We'll trade you this here van for that camper." "No way.. ", the guy replied... Nibble looked nervously around, and then came up with the final option. "Ok, we'll give you the van there, 2 macs, a 45, a 22, a magnum, a sawed off shotgun, and amo for them all.", he said.. Hoping the guy would take them up on the offer, and allow them their escape... Numb: 65 Subj: More... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Wed Mar 05 1986 "You've got them with you?", The man inquired. "Yeah, and you can have them all, all we want is that camper and a tank of gas.", Rip said.. "I'll take it! ", the guy said, "Come in here and sign this saying we traded van for camper... ok?" "Great", Nibble said, as they walked into the office to sign papers..... Meanwhile the rest of the group was putting their stuff in the new camper, and piling the guns in the back of the van... About the time TF pulled the camper up infront of the office, Rip and Nibble walked out... "Well?", Leach asked. "Well, we won't be followed in this... even set for a few nights if we HAVE to you know?", Rip said.."I think we should get some more soda's and stuff, there's a fridge in there, might as well have some fun whilest we cruise... Anyone know of a Circle K near here..?" "Oh fuck Circle K, I'm waiting in here, there's too many assholes there...", Nikki said... None the less, the camper cruised down the road in search for food, and a place to stay without being followed... Numb: 66 Subj: The magnum From: MR. COFFEE Date: Thu Mar 06 1986 MC opened up: "Do any of you think it would be safe to go back to the mansion?" Count replied: "I don't know, maybe we should lay low and wait until everything blows over." Rip switched on the Alpine to Rock 108 and listened for the news. . . . "Apparently, the men who were shot in front of the Circle K were wanted by the police for two solid months. Both have been previously indited for murder, attempted sexual contact with small children, and gange rape. I feel that the public owes a great deal of merit to the heroic efforts of the gunmen who were in the black van. Gunmen: where ever you all are at, Albuquerque ows you a great deal of thanks. . ." "Holy fuck, I just can't beleive what was said by that DJ!" The whole group just wondered with thoughts and silence. . ."could this be a trap. .? ." Numb: 67 Subj: Under the Gun From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Thu Mar 06 1986 The group looked at each other from their various places in the camper, decieding what to say next. "I think we should get a pretty far ways away from here.", Yoda said. "Mexico.", Coffee added. "Not Mexico, they'll be looking.. someplace realativly close.. Colorado.", TF said. "Colorado? I guess. Just for a week or two until this blows over a little", Rip added.. "Gee guys, looks like we're going camping.", Nikki said. "Can we go home and get some stuff?" "No. They may be waiting for us. We'll have to buy everything new. Who's got credit cards?", Nibble asked. No one seemed to have any, "Looks like we'll have to borrow someones then..", Leach said.."Either that or.." "Wait a sec, I've got JC Penny.. we'll have to go there, and buy the stuff we'll need, then we better get on the road..", Rip said... The Camper turned around, and headed to the mall, and then off to Colorado... Numb: 68 Subj: Colorado.. From: YODA Date: Thu Mar 06 1986 The group was cruizen at 80 all the way there. Rip was driving, of course, and everyone else decided to catch some sleep on the way. After a few hours, the camper made it into Denver. Rip picked out the closest Holiday Inn, and stopped. "Ok, we're heeeeaaaaar..." he yelled. "God, what a dream I had." Nikki said. "We were on the tram, eating, being shot at, I was almost kidnapped by some porno freaks, and we started to drive to Colorado. What a nightmare!" She looked out the window at the Holiday Inn sign which said "Denver's finest" on it's side. She looked at everyone in disbelief. "It's was true, Nikki." Synth said. We'll stay hear a while, 'til were back in shape with everything." They unpacked all their stuff, got their rooms, and started out on the town... Numb: 69 Subj: "You might as well face it." From: RIP SKUZZBOPPER Date: Thu Mar 06 1986 It was decided after checking the cash situation that a KOB was more approprate instead of a hotel. The camper had enough room for people for throw sleeping bags on the floor and be relatively compfortable. The provesions obtained at the mall and a furr's store had the group supplied for about two weeks. Cloths were getting slim though, and the necceties of life that all normal young adults needed were also sparce. It was decided after a unanimuse vote that mall-hopping was in order. "Where are we gonna get the bucks?" asked Yoda. "Well as I see it," replied Nibble," we either have to hold up somebody or charge it all." "Now way, eh." said Synth," I got a gadget that Leach and I have bben working on." He produced a small black card with wires leading to a TRS pocket computer-keypad. "Just take me to a automatic teller machine, and this emullesion card will have the cash rolling." "Yah, but now we need wheels." Nikki pointed out. "No problem ," answered Coffee," I got his new Remco Automatic Inta-brew and Skeleton Car-Key!" Coffee dragged Yoda off with him so he would have somebody to drink coffee with while he got some transport. Leach, Nibble, and Freebird hooked up the IIc and 2400 Bps SWPG special. Synth got the job of shinying up the phone pole. "Yah Synth, the red conducter!" shouted Leach," Hook that one up!" "Do you guys honestly think that you can hook directly into the LOS lines?" asked Nikki. "You underestimate the powers of the SWPG, we do this for kicks to piss Marty off." replied Nibble. Numb: 70 Subj: "Dancing in the Ruins..." From: RIP SKUZZBOPPER Date: Thu Mar 06 1986 "Sure thing Nikki," joined Leach," as long a Synth DOESN'T FUCK IT UP!" Leach shouted so Synth could here him. "Shut Your FACE!" quipped Synth as he slid down the pole."It's hooked up, the SWPG-Intpack should slid us right into the flow." The group trudged in and gathered around the terminal in the Winnabago's ketchenette. Rip was cooking up some Chicken Fettuccini. "Hey, this is good!" exclaimed Nikki. "Don't worry Hon," remarked Leach,"You'll die of food poisoning soon!" Rip elbowed him in the side as Leach started his obnoixuos laughter. "Hay, we're in," said Freebird," it worked!" The LCD screen flickered and the words "Welcome to Binary Sixx" scroled across the top of the page. Numb: 71 Subj: Binary Sixx From: COUNT NIBBLE Date: Thu Mar 06 1986 Nibble promptly logged on, and paged Binary Sixx with the special sysop- access level pager. BS replied almost immediately. "Hi BS, que es?" typed Nibble. "What's the latest Marty-news?" "Greetings Count," replied Sixx. "Marty has been staking out the Guild mansion ever since this morning. I took the liberty of forwarding all my calls here and setting up the board on line six, I hope you don't mind." "Not at all, you know you're welcome anytime you like." "Well, he's out there in a day-glow-orange painted VW Bus. Not too subtle. Where are you anyway? Someone is uploading Ultima VI to Terrapin, and I'm having trouble sending netmail to this guy at UNM." "We're up north -- Colorado -- holing up for awhile. Thank SA for Ulty6. And if you're trying to send to who I'm thinking you're trying to send to, the uucp address is !badst!unmvax!unmc!ma3166ay . . . we're going through badstreet until I can get the hardlink to ihnp4 set up . . . if you need to get in touch, call my line on the go-phone." "Roger. Marty's still out there. When can I expect you back?" "Dunno. Keep things going as smoothly as possible . . ." "Nibble," Freebird broke in, "someone's coming this way." Nibble typed more quickly. " . . . gotta go. We got company. Keep in touch." "Sure thing. -0110x out." "later{i" Just as the connection broke, there was a steady knock on the door of the camper. "Anyone wanna answer that?" asked Nikki . . . Numb: 72 Subj: Mr. Coffee and Yoda From: MR. COFFEE Date: Fri Mar 07 1986 Sure enough, it was Yoda standing there with a face as white as a ghost. "What the fuck happened to you?!", asked Count. Yoda replied, "I drank too much of Mr. C's Sumatra Mandheling; Shit, that stuff really gets you goin'!" Coffee showed up with the Ronco Intra-brew skeleton key. "I got her, a shiney new Corvet; couldn't find any Panteras or Lamborginis, sorry! Say, what is that I'm smelling, I'm starved; me and Yoda had to make a break for it after we left that dealer!" Sure enouth, the sun set to the horizon. Leach still couldn't stop laughing about the dinner to Nikki, and Count filled MC and Yoda in on what happened on the Binary Sixx. Soon, everybody was crashed after a rather long day, with only a question as to what the next day would bring. Numb: 73 Subj: Hmmm. (ha) From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Fri Mar 07 1986 About 3-4 TF woke up to take a leak, and saw Nibble wasn't really asleep, just laying there.. "Hey Nibs? Wanna have some fun?" "Doing what?", he asked, with his interest aroused. "Well, is leach a very heavy sleeper?" "Yeah, I don't think ANYTHING can wake him.", he replied, "Why?" "I was thinking, don't you think it'd be a little funny if him and Nikki woke up in each other's arms?", TF said, beginning to laugh a little.. Nibble cracked right then, started laughing rather hard, and had to put a pillow half way down his throat to contain himself.. "Yeah, that'd be funnier then shit!" He managed to say over his laughing.."Want to?" "Yeah! Let's do it... I say we move him, I don't know if Nikki's a light sleeper.", TF said, as Nibble climbed out of his sleeping bag, and walked over to the bed in the front of the camper, where Nikki was sleeping.. "Let's get Leach.", he said. TF and Nibble went to the back, pulled Leach out of bed, and carried him past the other sleeping bodies, and into Nikki's bed. Then they positioned arms in places that might give some slight hint that something happened the night before, put the covers back, and went to sleep..the next day would be halarious Numb: 74 Subj: Breakfast In Bed From: SYNTH Date: Fri Mar 07 1986 At 8 am, most of the guys were awake, although no one was actually UP. Nibble sat up in his sleeping bag watching TV, Coffee and Yoda, also in their bags, chatted in low voices. Freebird, Rip and Synth had not yet woken up, and Leach and Nikki were STILL asleep. "Christ, you'd think they'd realize it by now," Nibble remarked, as Freebird and Rip woke up. TF yawned widely, and started to get up. Suddenly he FREAKED when he saw the intimate pair. "What the FUCK?!!" Nibs, Yoda, and Coffee all exchanged sidelong glances, and all got the same idea. "Shocker, isn't it TF?" Yoda said. TF angrily got up and went outside immediately. "Oh shit, what have we done?" Nibs said guiltily. Meanwhile Rip had become fully conscious, and was throwing pillows at the sleeping Synth. "C'MON, you hoser!" Suddenly a suprised female voice echoed throughout the trailer. "WHAT THE...!" Nikki tried to pull away from Leach in the sleeping bag, which was hard due to the small space they both occupied. "You BASTARD!!" She slapped Leach across the face, waking him up in a most unpleasant way. Nikki leaped out of the sleeping bag with surprising dexterity, as Leach got ahold of the situation. His mouth formed a grin. "Hey, what can I say babe?" Nibble rolled his eyes. "Oh GOD..." (more) Numb: 75 Subj: Whoa! From: SYNTH Date: Fri Mar 07 1986 Coffee sat in his sleeping bag, arms folded. "Don't flatter yourself, bud." Leach dropped his smile and confronted MC and Yoda. "Ok, what's going on here?" Nikki, from far across the camper, yelled "Yeah! What the hell's going on here?" Leach looked over at her and noticed her extreme distance. "Hey, give me a break ... I don't exactly have the plague, here." "Not exactly," Nikki countered. Rip broke in. "Wow, I can see the headlines: 'Leach And Darling Nikki Play Snugglebunnies In Trailer Park'." "Fuck you!" Nikki said, glaring at Rip. "Just hold it, everyone," Nibble said, raising his arms, and proceeded to fill everyone in on the joke. Everyone, that is, except Synth, who was still asleep. Rip threw another pillow at him. Nibble wrapped up the explanation. "...so Leach, cut the delusions of grandeur, and Nikki, rest assured -- you don't have AIDS." Leach threateningly grabbed a nearby butter knife, intended for Lazlo. "WATCH it, bud." Nibble shot back, "Well your's is so SMALL, I'd go blind from the eyestrain." He ducked a flying knife thrown at him. Then Yoda, looking out the window, said, "Hey, where's TF?" Numb: 76 Subj: And where's the chevy? From: MR. COFFEE Date: Fri Mar 07 1986 The Chevy that Mr. Coffee had taken was gone and so was TF. Meanwhile, Marty found out about Colorado and was headed at that exact direction. He had nothing to do since the Applequerque club took his board away. The whole camper got dressed and scurried to see approximately what direction the car was headed. Meanwhile, Count got back to the Binary Sixx to find out the latest news. . . "Shit, is me and Yoda gonna have to go through the same shit of having to find another car!?", quipped Mr. C. . . The Count had established contact with the Binary. . . . Numb: 77 Subj: Chevy? From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Sat Mar 08 1986 The group decieded that taking the camper would be best, they'd get to go faster, and could go on foot if need be... the massive camper rolled out of the KOA, and onto the main highway, which was rather curvy,and mountainous.. "I hope he didn't do anything stupid..", Rip said, now pouring cold water on Synth, whom couldn't quite bring himself to wake up... "It couldn't have been any stupider then what you guys did!", Nikki inputed to them, still not quite over the joke. "Oh calm down, he was too tired to do anything you WOULND'T want him too..", Nibble said, as leach gave a little laugh, and then shut up.. "Traffic seems to be stopped.. whata you say we walk from here?", Coffee said, Yoda reacted, moved the camper off the road, and the group got out... "looks like a car wreck or something.." "Oh god...", Nikki said, as she got a climps of two cars stuffed into each other's front ends.... "Is that the car you guys lifted?", Synth asked, now awake... "yeah, I'm pretty sure...", Coffee said... the group walked over, and inspected the wreck. That was the car, but TF was gone... Possibly in the ambalence, or maybe in a morge someplace.... Numb: 78 Subj: Cont... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Sat Mar 08 1986 They all ran over the ambelance, and looked in. There was a body there, bloody, but with a sheet over it's head... Nibble grabbed the sheet, and yanked it away.. Low and behold, it was MARtY! "Wow".. Leach said, looking at the body.. "He dead?" "No, but he probably will be soon.. we can't take him yet, we need the road cleared before we can leave.. we just have to wait.", the attendant said.. "Where's the driver of the other car?", Nikki asked. "Missing. No one can find him, must have ran away or something, probably won't make it very far though, looking at this one, I doubt he's got much of a chance..." "Ahhh FUCK!", Yoda exclaimed, not too happy with the situation.. putting his fist into the side of the ambelance.... "You really shouldn't do that bud, you could hurt yourself...", TF said, now sitting on a large rock on the side of the road... The group came over, and looked at him rather strangly, they all were kind of checking him out for cuts ect, he had none......"You know what?! Some son o f a bitch stole your car... At least he damaged marty with the car..." "You're ok? We thought YOU were in that car..", Coffee said.... Numb: 79 Subj: Going back From: MR. COFFEE Date: Sat Mar 08 1986 Soon, the traffic was moving. Another driver was found slottered underneath the dashboard of the corvett. Count replies, "Well, no prob here; we won't have to worry 'bout takin' the blame for the chevy; MC: You'll soon have to find us another car." Everyone got back into the camper and Rip started driving and checking his map for other secluded camp grounds. Marty was out of the way for the time being, perhaps forever. He was terminally ill anyways. . . . Numb: 80 Subj: campy trips From: LEACH Date: Sun Mar 09 1986 Not finding any secluded spots, Rip kept driving. They were all headed North, still, listening to David Bowie. After about 90 miles it was dark. The Colorado border was still another few hours away, but Rip pulled the camper over. "We could use that other car soon, Coffee." "Ok, Rip. Perking right up. Give me a few minutes." Having found a rather familiar looking Ford Pinto, Coffee looked around for the owners, couldn't find any, and easily jury- rigged a quick working key. "That's funny," said Coffee, "this seems to have been abandoned. That's good. It actually runs!" Meanwhile, the others were setting up the sleeping bags and Freebird was transferring some gas to the newly-acquired Pinto. Leach called to Nikki and offered a nice place to sleep, ran his finger under his nose, and inhaled deeply. Nikki looked rather disgusted and made a place a distant as possible...on top of the camper. . . . The night passed with no events, and after everyone awoke (including leach and synth) everyone was pretty hungry. "I'm HONGRY!" came a scream from leach. "Same here," replied Nibble,"but we're down on green stuff. Who had that bank card, anyway?" "No tellers it'll work in," said Nomad, "but we only need any teller machine to test out that new device hooked up to the trash-80." "Let's get moving. I'm HUNGRY!" Numb: 81 Subj: Hey dudes:::::I'm here From: WHIPSNAP RAP Date: Sun Mar 09 1986 Whipsnap looked down. He was holding a plastic bag filled to the rim with nicely rolled joints. His clothes were covered with eyestraining flowers, and strange aemebic shapes. He opened his mouth, out came "Peeaace." He tried to think. He looked up to see some Rash-neech guy preeching to a huge crowd of people dressed in the same fashion as Whipsnap. "Peeaaacce....." He said again. "Peace. Peace. peace." Numb: 82 Subj: Meanwhile... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Sun Mar 09 1986 After TF finished putting gas in the newly acquired car, Nibble, Leach, and Rip took off for a while, to try and find an automatic teller... Synth took a short walk to look for a fresh water stream, as the water supply in the camper was getting quite low. Yoda and Coffee decieded to do a little cleaning in the camper, as it was getting so finding the floor was getting harder and harder.. "Damn this place is a mess", Coffee said, with a handful of papers and such that were on the floor.. Yoda openned a window, and motioned for him to toss them out.. He did.. that's how they cleaned.. TF walked back in the camper, looked around a little and then went back to the part of the camper where Yoda and Coffee were.. "Where's Synth and Nikki?", he inquired. "Synth's looking for fresh water, Nikki's still crashed.", Coffee said.. "So where is she?" Yoda looked up to the top of the camper.. "on the roof?", Freebird asked. Yoda nodded his head. Freebird leaves the camper, and goes around to the back, and climbs up the ladder to the top.. Sure enough, there's Nikki in her sleeping bag, still crashed... "Hey- time to get up..", he said, nudging her gently, but enough to wake her up... "C'mon, it's 10:30 already, we still got to go shopping.. You know, shopping.. You should like that..." Hearing the word shopping, Nikki became half awake.. "Ok, give me 5 minutes..." Numb: 83 Subj: Shopping! From: MR. COFFEE Date: Sun Mar 09 1986 After becoming half awake, Nikki heard the word from TF a second time: "Shopping, Nikki, Shopping!" The second time, it rang through her head clear as a frait-train horn at close range. Nikki replies, "Shopping! Yea, SHOPPING; OH GOODY WE GET TO GO SHOPPING!!" In an instant Yoda and Mr. Coffee heard a great "THUNK". "What was that?", said Coffee. Yoda replied, "I think that's Nikki headed for the pinto." Mr. Coffee replied back, "I wonder what she's dragging; looks like something big and human shaped." Yoda quiped "Fuck, that's not a thing, it's TF!" Sure enough, both were in the pinto in a split second. Boy, when Nikki hears the word "shopping!" she takes a different form! TF turned the key and "DAMN, won't crank." Mr. Coffee raised the hood; "Yoda, get some of that Folgers I just brewed." Yoda came with the pot and gave it to MC. MC poored it on the battery and tightened the screws to the battery; "coffee works great for gettin' the crud out of batterys!" Right after the pinto started, it rocked down the road as though it had a V-8. Yoda said, "Coffee, did you put some of that Mocha Java in the gas tank again?" "No," replied MC; "you're just witnessing how a girl drives after hearing the word "shopping!" Numb: 84 Subj: "Tell me, tell me, how to... From: RIP SKUZZBOPPER Date: Sun Mar 09 1986 be a millionaire." Nibble and Synth stood in the car as Rip spray painted the cammaa window on the atomatic Teller machine. No one was around, they made sure of that. Rip waived the all clear and thw two ran up to the keyboard. Rip climbed down from the roof and watched as synth typeing in codes, then went to the AT machine and started getting ou the cash. Everytime he finished and withdrew $200, he went back to the computer keyboard and changed the code on the magnatic strip of the emulasion card. After repeating the process for about an hour, the machine was tapped. "Lets jam." said Nibble as he counted the cash. it was 80,000 dollars exactly. Rip said "Before we go back to the others, lt's get another car." Numb: 85 Subj: Shopping From: YODA Date: Sun Mar 09 1986 Nibs and Rip went to the best car dealer in sight : Friendly Freddies Car Lot. "Oh jeezus! What a selection. Oh well, mebbe we can find something worth buying." Nibble said. "Yeah, lets look around." They went thru pintos, gremlins, and all the other winners there. Finally, they saw one they had to have. It was a Porsche 944, black, tinted windows, sun roof, turbo, the works. "How much for that one?" Rip asked the over friendly dealer. "Uhhh, that just happens to be *my* car, it's not quite for sale." "Bullshit, we WANT it!" Nibble flashed about $50,000 cash in front of Friendly Freddies face. "I'll tell ya what I'm gonna do..." and he ended up selling the car to them. Meanwhile, at the shopping mall. "oooohhhhhh what a pretty sweater! Can I have it?" Nikki was excited. "C'mon, we're spose to get food and shit, this is not a shopping spree!" "Oh, you're no fun. "So I'm not Leach, HA-HA!" "Fuck you, let's buy some food." "That's more like it." And they went and bought all sorts of goodies for the rest of the group. Numb: 86 Subj: Meanwhile at the camper. . From: MR. COFFEE Date: Sun Mar 09 1986 Yoda said to MC, "Hey, ah where did you get that other pinto? I mean, Nibble and Rip are in the one we got yesterday!" MC replied: "Well, Yoda; when you drink as much coffee as I do and have a Ronco Intra-Brew skeleton-key like I got; you tend to stay out a lot. I like my Ronco better then I did that little pocket-brewer I had in the van, so I tend to use it more often!" Meanwhile, TF and Nikki were heading back with groceries, while Count and Rip were headed back with the new 911. Numb: 87 Subj: wonderbuns From: YODA Date: Mon Mar 10 1986 Nibble and Rip ROARED past TF and Nikki. "What the hell was that?" TF shouted. "I dunno, but it looks like the was (way) Rip would drive." "True, knowing them, that's who it was." TF and Nikki finally got back to the rest of the group, including Rip and Nibble. "So, that was you in the 944!" "Yeah, couldn't control myself." "Sure, thanks for the ride, ha." "Ooops, sorry." Everyone helped unpack the groceries, and started to fix dinner. They had ham, chips, cokes, bread, apples, and some other shit that doesn't get rotten any time soon. After they fineshed eating, MC and Yoda took a spin in the 944. Rip and TF hit the hay early, and Leach and Nikki had a long talk about their little adventure in the sack. Numb: 88 Subj: That night... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Wed Mar 12 1986 That night, after Yoda and Coffee got back, Nibble decieded that 10:00 was too early for Rip and Freebird to have gone to bed, so he woke them up.. "C'mon, we're gonna play cards..".. they got up, moved over to the table and sat down with the rest of them... Nikki and Leach had begun to get a long, as she was sitting next to him, without the intent of slapping him. (But ready to if he were to act up.) They all sat around a while, and played, but got tired of it after a couple rounds of gin... "how 'bout poker?", Coffee suggested... "How 'bout Black Jack..", Nikki suggested. "Strip Poker!", Leach blurted out.. Nikki looked at him as if to slap him, but backed down... "bag cards, I'm hungry again.. Grab that pizza we didn't eat yet..", Nibble said, as Yoda grabbed the un openned pizza from the camper counter... They all start to eat, Leach, Nibble, Rip, Yoda were putting down beers, TF was putting down coke (the liquid kind!), while Nikki VERY SLOWELY sipped on a beer, trying not to drink much, but slowly putting it down... Coffee, of course, sucked on some coffee.. Synth went from Beer to coke to beer and back, before decieding coke was the better buy.... As they talked, they began to notice Nikki having a little trouble keeping her eyes open.. "Hey Nik, why don't you go to bed?", Synth asked... "I'm fine, besides, this is great...", she said, giggling a little.... Numb: 89 Subj: More of TF's bullshit! From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Wed Mar 12 1986 "Looks to me like you're getting a little waisted..", Coffee told her, noticing her sluggish movements.. "Oh no.. I'm fine.. I've only had 1 beer, and maybe half of that one.. ", Nikki said, pointing over to a bottle now next to Leach's glass, where he'd poured it..."It takes me more then that to get drunk.." Nikki kept drinking, like the rest of them. Everyone kept talking and paid less attention to Nikki, for the time.. Leach wasn't yet drunk, but working on it pretty quick.. Nibble stopped, he didn't really want the hang over, and Rip had stopped a few bottles ago, since he'd have to drive in the mornign, if they wanted to leave state, which was the plan... "Hey! Grab her!", Synth plurted out to TF, as Nikki started falling to the table.. Leach, though slow reacting, grabbed Nikki before she hit the table, and TF helped him out, since he wasn't exactly the quickest. Yoda got a kick out of her little trip, and began to laugh, as the rest were doing... "And she said it would take her at leat 5 to get blitzed...", TF said kind of quietly, but in a humorus way.. "Wow.. Nikki blitzed.. I NEVER thought I'd see that..", Nibble said, but still a little amazed with the whole thing.. Nikki openned her eyes a little, and looked up at Leach, who gave her a flashy smile.. She pushed herself off his shoulder, and ricashaid onto TF's, who just sat there, letting the blitzed babe sleep... Numb: 90 Subj: Drunk From: YODA Date: Thu Mar 13 1986 Nikki was gone. Everyone gave their chuckle, but calmed down. A moment of silence came over the guys for a while.. Suddenly, Leach (somewhat bombed himself) blurted out something about a chugging contest. "uuhh, c'mon you gize. Yor nooo fun! Lez hab a drinkin' contes'. Lez see hoo gez bombed the faztes!" "Uh, no thanks." TF said. "Well, I'm game. Haven't had that kind of fun in a LONG time!" Nibble said. "Yeah, count me in to!" Yoda said. "That goes for me." Rip called. "Hey, might as well be social, eh? Guess I have some fun to." TF gave in. "Don't start without me!" came MC's voice from the hall. Everyone had a beer in their hand. Unfortunately for everyone, that beer was Coors. Seeing as they were somewhat in the Rocky Mountains, they thought it would be appropriate. They all took their beer in their hands. "Ok, now poke a hole in the bottom." Leach said. "On the count of 3, put that in your mouf, and ge' redy to op'n it, and star' chuggin! Ok, 1, 2, 3!" The five guys started pouring them down. They kept this up until it was just MC, and Nibble were awake. "Ooookkaay, I, I, say we, uh, (burp) forge' thiz, an doo sumfin els." MC said. "goo, (hic) idea. Lez take a wa, walk in the (ralph) woos." "Shur, I'll ge' some hiken shit." The guys left the camper and started on their drunken hike. Numb: 91 Subj: Hmm. I guess I'll try it... From: THE FREEBIRD Date: Mon Mar 17 1986 Rip, half concious, managed to get the driver's seat, realizing that although Nibble and Mr. Coffee were blitzed, there WAS something out there, that they didn't like... "Hurry!! Hurry damn it!!", Coffee said, locking doors, and pulling window shades down. "I'm trying, give me a second!", Rip said, starting the camper up, and flooring the pedal. They moved out onto the road at the camp site, with something still on.. "He must be on the roof!", Rip said.. "On the Roof?! Nikki's on the roof!", Yoda remembered. "Ah Fuck!", Leach said.. looking up.. "Synth, open the air duct up there, stick your arm out, and make sure Nikki doesn't go flying!", Rip told him.. synth not knowing why, did this.. Synth was able to grab Nikki, and there was infact something up there with her.. She couldn't fit through the duct, so she's have to stick it out the hard way. "I know what Rip's gonna do, hold on tight!", TF said, finally realizing what was gonna happen.. "Damn right, hang on!", Rip said, stomping on the brakes, bringing the camper from 50 to 0 instantly... Then a body fell off the roof, onto the ground infront of the camper. Numb: 92 Subj: boogey man.. From: YODA Date: Mon Mar 17 1986 The body fell off, and started moving around. "Would you look at that thing. It looks like He-man, only with lots-o-hair." Rip said. "No kidding, can we get the fuck out of hear now?" Yoda told him. "No, we can't do that, Nikki's still on the roof. We gotta get her down." TF said. "Ok, but we need to distract this thing first." Leach suggested. While this conversation was going on, the "monster" started to get up, and walk infront of the camper. MC quickly got out with one of his famous coffee pots, and started walking towards it. He threw the contents of the pot at the monster. The thing was hit, and started roasting from the burning coffee. It ran wild, looking for some way to cool off. Nikki climbed down from the roof, and went inside the camper. "Thanks for all the warning and shit guys." "Hey, no problem. Anytime. Actually MC and Nibble tried to wake us all up, don't know why you didn't hear him, guess you must be a heavy sleeper or something." Yoda said. They were all back in the camper, safe and sound. It was almost morning already, and the group decided it was time to go back to beautiful Albuquerque. Rip started the camper up, and drove back to the original campsite, where the Posche, and two Pinto's were. "Any of you want any of these cars?" Rip asked. Nobody did, for they could steal the same thing in Albuquerque, and they drove off.. Numb: 93 Subj: Back to the mansion From: MR. COFFEE Date: Tue Mar 18 1986 The group finally made it back to the mantion. Everything was untoutched, but Martys' foot prints were still intact, along with some skid marks on the driveway near the locking gates. Count said, "someone's been here". Right then, Binary walked up to the camper. MC replied, "what was all the comotion with the skid marks?"; Binary replied back, "I had to sick the guard dogs on Marty, he somehow fucked with the security system; but I fixed it back!". The group went in the house; with Count, Rip, Synth, TF, and Nikki headed directly for the wine celler. And where was Mr. Coffee and Yoda? Of course, in the coffee-bean patch picking the best Columbian coffees; then to the roaster out by the shed, and finally; to the kitchen. And what did MC and Yoda have in mind? Obviously, the Braun gourmet-drip Commercial coffee maker was on the big shelf by the stove, just below the great cupboards which are mostly used by the bakers and the master chef. The rest can be guessed!